Strange Laws Still On The Books
When we think of laws, we usually think of rules relevant to our lives in the 21st Century. In fact, most of us never even consider that strange laws could still remain on our books — but they do!
Strange laws such as banning donkeys from bathtubs, or not being allowed to wear a bulletproof vest while murdering someone in New Jersey were apparently relevant during some bygone era. Yet those laws remain registered and recorded. So does free roadkill and a law banning anyone from playing with exploding golf balls. Still, it’s laughable to imagine that although they are no longer enforced, these strange laws still exist.
Take a look at this odd collection of U.S. legislation still on the books.
In Alaska, one of their strange laws bars you from giving a moose a beer — although a glass of wine would be OK. Also, whispering in someone’s ear while he’s moose hunting is a no-no.
It is absolutely illegal to feed pigs garbage unless you have a special permit in AZ. Nor can donkeys sleep in bathtubs.
Among the strange laws in Arkansas is mispronouncing the state name, which is strictly forbidden.
If you eat an orange while in your bathtub in California, the cops can bust in and arrest you on the spot. Also, although it’s OK to host a “frog-jumping contest,” if any of the frogs die, you can’t eat them.
Don’t lend your vacuum cleaner to your neighbor in Colorado. One of the strange laws against this neighborly gesture could land you behind bars.
For a pickle to legally be called a pickle, it must bounce — which begs the question: does someone actually bounce pickles to test them?
One of the strange laws in Delaware involves marriage. Getting married on a dare is grounds for annulment. Also, don’t ever try to sell the hair of a dog.
In the sunshine state, all establishments holding a liquor license are prohibited from holding any contest, promotion, or activity that involves a person with dwarfism. And that definitely includes throwing.
Plan to change the clothes on a storefront mannequin in Georgia? You’d better draw the curtains first or risk being arrested. Also, don’t ever keep an ice cream cone in your back pocket on a Sunday. It’ll land you behind bars.
Among the strange laws in Hawaii is a requirement that all residents must own a boat, or risk being fined.
In Idaho, cannibalism will get you up to 14 years in prison… except in extreme cases where you had to eat your friend to survive. Also, it is illegal for a man to give his sweetheart a box of candy that weighs less than 50 pounds.
It is illegal to take your french poodle to the opera — although any other breed of poodle might be allowed.
In Indiana, one-armed piano players must perform for free.
Boxes used to package hops are supposed to be exactly 36 inches long. So for anyone planning to pack the stuff in a 37 inch box, get the hell out of Iowa.
In Kansas, if two trains happen to meet on the same track, it is illegal for either train to proceed unless the other train has passed first. No explanation on exactly how to accomplish such a feat.
Dye a baby chick, duckling, or rabbit any hue of the rainbow in Kentucky and you’ll be charged a $100-$500 fine. You’re also not allowed to sell them. Since this only pertains to live animals, you’re in the clear if you ever gift a dead green chick.
Sending a pizza delivery guy to your friend’s house without him knowing it will net you a $500 fine.
If you’re the only house on the street with your Christmas decorations still on display after January 14th, the cops can arrest you.
Although they are presumably a fan of safe sex, the State of Maryland has a provision barring the sale of non-latex condoms in vending machines.
In Massachusetts, one of their strange laws involves the prohibition of exploding golf balls. First-time violators will be fined up to $500.
In Michigan, a woman must first get her husband’s permission before cutting her own hair.
Minnesota law has deemed greased pig contests and turkey scrambles unlawful. Also, using a goldfish as fishing bait is an infraction.
Have one illegitimate child? Not a problem. But you’ll be facing misdemeanor charges as soon as a second kid pops out.
MT passed a law just two years ago allowing residents to salvage roadkill for meat. Finders keepers…
One of the strange laws in the Cornhusker State includes a statue preventing any person with a venereal disease from marrying.
Throwing anything from a chairlift has been deemed illegal in Nevada. Also, a man can not buy a drink for more than three people at a time.
You must be time conscious when seaweed harvesting in NH. Carrying the stuff “from seashore below high-water mark” after the sun has set is a violation of the state’s fish and game provisions.
Wearing a bulletproof vest while committing or attempting to commit murder is an offense. Apparently, New Jersey cares more about making this a fair fight than the actual act of murder.
If you’re performing the national anthem anywhere in this state, you are required to sing the whole song. Also, the state constitution makes it illegal for any “idiots” or insane people to vote.
Unless you’re attending a masquerade ball in New York, any person “being masked or in any manner disguised by unusual or unnatural attire or facial alteration, loiters, remains or congregates in a public place with other persons so masked or disguised,” then that person is an illegal loiterer. Too bad the weird characters who’ve taken over Times Square either don’t know or don’t care about this law.
Do you like to play BINGO? Well, you’d better keep the game under five hours or you’ll be in violation of the law.
Among the strange laws of North Dakota is one that says you may not knowingly clone (or attempt to clone) another human in the Rough-rider State. Nor can you sell beer and pretzels at the same time.
Bear wrestling and “horse tripping” events are strictly forbidden in OK — although if you think wrestling a bear is a good idea, you have bigger problems than state penal codes.
Carrying a person under the age of 18 on any external part of the car is unlawful. But if they’re 19, feel free to throw them on the trunk.
Under PA’s incredibly detailed fortune-telling legislation, administering love potions or telling someone where to dig for treasure is a third-degree misdemeanor.
If you intentionally bite off your friend’s arm, you will go to jail. If it’s an accident, though, you have absolutely nothing to worry about.
Anyone under the age of 18 is forbidden from using a pinball machine — but playing pinball on a game console is totally acceptable.
Fireworks are illegal in many part of America, but not in South Dakota. In fact, farmers are legally allowed to use them to scare birds away from their sunflowers.
The people of Tennessee are so intent on respecting the dead, they’ve made hunting, playing games or any sort of amusement in cemeteries illegal.
Among Utah’s insane liquor laws is their strange law involves Zion curtains. These partitions run along restaurant bars and bartenders are required to make drinks behind them so that kids can’t see the booze. Residents have frequently tried but failed to get rid of the Zion curtains, but for now, it looks like they’re here to stay.
“Shooting birds for amusement” is illegal in Vermont — and so is intentionally killing a bird with a plane.
Whoever created the slogan “Virginia is for lovers” must not have realized that sex of any kind between unmarried citizens is a Class 4 misdemeanor. Oh, and so is tickling a woman.
Destroying another person’s beer cask, barrel, keg, or bottle is strictly forbidden in Washington state, as is filling those things without the owner’s written consent. Lollipops are also illegal.
In West Virginia, it’s illegal for anyone engaged in a duel (or challenging someone to a duel) to hold office.
Under Wisconsin state law, butter substitutes may not be fed to students, patients, or inmates of any state prison unless a doctor prescribes it for their health.
Fishing with a gun is against the law in Wyoming. Also, removing more than half of a sheep’s ear is also against the law.